9 Aug 2010

A home

I'm back in Leuven today! The moment I stepped off the bus I felt so emotional... Weird huh? I was happy to be back here in this beautiful city that I love, but also a little sad because Leuven means a lot of loneliness and a struggle to get through my exams.

I don't really have a home and it bothers me.
No matter what I try, I don't feel at home in Leuven. My room is just a little room with a bed, a closet, a writing desk and a small sink. We share a kitchen, 2 showers and 2 toilets with 10 people, but the others aren't here during exam periods. Our classes are on different hours and we all have different friends so we don't really hang out together...

In Hasselt, my parents' home, I don't feel at home either. I practically live alone in Leuven so when I'm home during the weekends or holidays it feels very weird. I'm used to being able to do whatever I want to do!

When I'm not at home during the weekends, I'm at J.'s. We're not married or even engaged so why would that be my home? Yes we plan on getting married and then it will become my home I guess, but for now it doesn't feel like that.

I think I'm just going to buy some nice candles and maybe some other stuff to try to make this room more of a home. And I'll try to think of "home" as a place where I can be with God and where I can be myself.
Maybe this year these homeless feelings will change.



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